literature

The Time In Between

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Sollenius's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

I can see this passion
that’s set the leaves ablaze-
burning- all the excitement
passing through the air-
yet the moment is filled
with a reticency that lingers-
of that nostalgic feeling-
my body has longed for
again-

Life’s seasons- they change-
and as I watch the dull luster
of the Sun sweat- carefully
in his throne- I notice
the Summer finally ended-
and the time is now in between; the Fall
marks that soon thy queen is to
call-


An argument of things to forget
drained; the king now has set-
ready to retire- along with a kiss-
that caresses his pride away-
it goes- to the trees- that spark-
with fire-

A kingdom of silent wind collects-
the leaves that are left of vitality-screaming-
at the sky- the suns head sags- and I watch
all the life around him- unable to happily grow-
wither-

I too- know of this emotion he cries-
when life piles- into anger and lies-
while the leaves whisper- talking-
as I stand there- with cold hands-
alone-

The Moon, and her white embrace- a thief-
the warm joy of the Sun, stolen-
I can no longer rely on him
as I did- his shine's been
reflected-

She too- captures my soul-
with each Knight- that passes-
through the thin hope- remaining
in the air- the Sun, the Moon, and I-
happy to realize we're still here- 
quiet-
First of all i'd like to note that this poem is still a draft and isn't fully edited, but for some reason I felt like I had to get it out there, especially since October's ending. Make of it what you will, It's open for plenty of interpretation and thought, so please tell me what you think haha! Hope all you're October's and Fall in general is going well, just enjoy those leaves a little longer before the Winter's here.
© 2014 - 2024 Sollenius
Comments3
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The-Infamous-MrGates's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

Rarely do I come across a poem like this on DeviantArt with resonating figurative language that it causes me to stop and consider the worth of such words. The stanzas are irregular, but are encompassed by a weighing flow that draws me in with peaking interest. It's almost epically metaphorical. What comes to mind is how every civilization has a stoic (and poetic) retelling of how the Sun, Moon and world cease to be and thrive in the natural order. They all tell the same story, because the Sun and Moon represent the same thing to all people, but what changes is how the story is told.

I feel a sense of compassion here. It's vague and it's enticing. I often compare how a younger person with a very peculiar mind can look upon the world with speculative contemplation like an elderly person. I'm not sure if all the hyphens are needed, but there are few times where their presence amplifies the structure of the words. Just something to maybe think about.

This poem is mature as it is moving. It deserves more attention.